Nothing to do with writing
I know it's been a while since I've posted anything and I don't want anyone to worry. It's coming, it's just taking me a little longer to get there, you know the place I feel I should be. But this post isn't about that. No this post is about me, well not all about me but what I'm feeling. It's the reason I joined livejournal in the first place, not to read or write fanfiction. I thought it would be a nice place to vent whenever I was feeling anything. Nothing in particular just a place where I could express myself in a way I couldn't with other people like friends or family. Sometimes I miss that, I miss writing about my experiences that I went through in a day. Even if it was just to talk about work or school it was great not to keep so much bottled in. I felt better. I behaved better. I even became a more friendlier person although sometimes I still can be a bitch. Still, writing about my feelings helped me alot when I was going through some tough times so I think, even if it's just for today I'm going to do it again. So let's begin shall we.
Okay so far this week has been pretty regular. Thankfully I've been able to keep my temper under control which can really be hard to do when you're around toddlers all day. And I don't mean cute quiet toddlers. I mean loud, fussy, nosy toddlers who are both boys and love to fight for some reason. The boys are my nephews and god knows I love them but sometimes I feel like locking them in a room and leaving them there. I tell my sister this all the time and she thinks I'm being evil but what I really am is frustrated. Before I spent all day with this kids I wanted to have some of my own. Not now, I'm only twenty-four and there's so much I want to do first but I wanted children. Even have their names picked out and everything and now I don't want to think about taking care of a child. I barely want to look at them or hold them. It's got me messed up pretty bad and as the days go by it's like it gets worse which I am desperately searching for a job. I believe that if I could just get out of the house more and go do something more productive my feelings of disdain would go away. Or at least transfer from the children and to my place of employment. Ah, I don't know what it is but I feel useless and rundown and most of all helpless and these are feelings I do not like. I felt like this in high school and that year didn't work out for me so well. So I have to do something about this and fast or else I'm going to end up depressed, again and I do not want that to happen.
On the plus side I'm writing still, not so much on real fiction as it is fanfiction but I'm still writing. Now I'm hooked on writing for NCIS and kudos to all those who knows what that show is. I get like this everytime I really get into a new show I wanna write something about it but most of the time I get bored and stop but some shows seem to stay with me. So far I've written fanfiction for Charmed, Scrubs, Psych, Torchwood, Brothers and Sisters (but I've never posted it), Big Wolf on Campus (went through a old-school phase), and now NCIS. Hopefully I won't get bored and end up deleting what I've been writing because I tend to do that.
Well enough about fanfiction let's get back to something else like my new favorite show. Now I watch alot of television, which is understandable because I have no life whatsoever but can I just brag on the show Glee. For some reason I love this show. Maybe it's the music, maybe it's characters, the writing and plots, or maybe it's because I'm weird. Whatever the reason may be I love it and I know I'm not the only one. I really don't have a favorite character yet but some are definitely growing on me. When I do get one I'll be sure to let you all know and you should let me know if you like the show as well. I know I'm not the only one. Another show I'm really into is Castle, which is a show about a mystery writer who helps the cops solve real murders. I love this show because it's witty and has really good characters. Not to mention Castle and Beckett ooze sexual tension. These are both good shows to watch and if you're interested check out Castle on Mondays at ten o'clock on ABC and Glee on Fox, Weds at 9:00. I know, I should really work for an advertisment company that deals with television ad.
Anyways I feel good just like old times so I should stop and end this here but not before I really go old school and give you my-
Quote of the day: We can't change the world if we're not willing to change ourselves.
And-
Weird thing about me: I'm not completely goth but I love anything and everything skulls and crossbones. Really I do. When I was working I had two pairs of slip on shoes, notebooks, a bookbag, earrings, and even a few shirts that were plastered with them. I was even able to make my computer look gothic and I love it. My family thinks I'm even weirder now because of it. Ah well.
That's all for today and until next time: Keep it cool people.
Re-Re.
